Santa Loves You

I was extremely startled to hear the religious content in the second verse of Here Comes Santa Claus. It seems the authors were responding to criticism of the secular/commercial focus of most Santa-based songs and thus were trying to have it both ways.

The addition of God only increases the tension of the culture war’s resonances within this song. Instead of including Jesus, the song instead seemingly elevates Santa to part of a pantheon.

The attempt to tackle class is even less successful – Santa may love children who are rich and poor equally, but they don’t get equal presents.

This is the last song in this year’s Christmas album. If you enjoyed it (or not), please consider making a donation to the Hackney Night Shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

If you’d like to download this album in higher fidelity than is available here, you can find it and cover art over at bandcamp. It’s a free download, but please do make a donation directly to the shelter!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:04 — 1.7MB)

Sledge Trudge

Some songs have hidden dystopian meanings or inner, subtle depth. And some are just dull but still popular. From Kenny G’s wholly regrettable key changes to the Ronnette’s questionable special effects, the recorded history of pop acts covering Sleigh Ride is one of desperation to make anything interesting happen. Somehow, this song lingers in the top 20 of seasonal favourites, safe, boring, predicatable and no actual mention of any holidays at all.

I uncovered some bug in Audacity that would not allow me to cut out Johnny Matthis saying ‘Just’ at the start of the song, so he remains.

All of my Christmas songs this year are fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 2:28 — 4.2MB)

The Santopticon (He Sees You)

He sees you when you’re sleeping.

All of my Christmas songs this year are fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:23 — 2.3MB)

Funky (The Slow Jam)

This uses three different audio sources. In this version, there’s no effort to do beat matching and the playback rates are all based on the same minor pentatonic scale, but without coordination between the rates. I like the end.

All of my Christmas songs this year are fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 2:20 — 3.9MB)

Walking in a Winter No Man’s Land

Perhaps the strangest part of the lyrics of the original song is when a snow man demands to know if the narrator is single and the narrator immediately suggests polyamoury:

[The snow man will] say ‘Are you married?’
We’ll say ‘no, man.
But you can do the job,
When you’re in town.’

This rendition primarily relies on the Andrews Sisters, but also on Dean Martin and Johnny Mathis. The title was suggested by a member of the Mastodon social network, @oliviadahling@mastodon.social,

All of my Christmas songs this year are fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 2:02 — 3.3MB)

Lettuce, No

Yet another deconstruction of a baby boomer favourite. The title was provided by a member of the Mastodon social network, @emdeesee@octodon.social.

All of my Christmas songs this year are fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 3:07 — 4.6MB)

I Saw the Mummy Killing Santa Claus

The uplifting choir bits at the very beginning and very end of this 1950s Christmas pop song sound a bit like weird moaning when slowed down.

Many of these pop songs have virtually no instrumental parts, so the only sections that aren’t full of voice are the intro and the outro.

All of my Christmas songs this year are fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 4:06 — 5.3MB)

Der Tannenbaumherumtanz

This piece uses the sax solo from another baby boomer favourite Christmas song. The title was provided by a member of the Mastodon social network, @mattamatic@wandering.shop.

All of my Christmas songs this year are fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 3:27 — 6.2MB)

Out in the Cold

I kind of hope this is the last year I ever have to hear ‘Baby it’s Cold Outside’ as anything other than a bad example.

It comes from a romantic comedy from the 1940s, as a sound track to a scene in which the female lead is trying desperately to escape a Pepe le Pew-like character. This then cuts to an inversion of the scene where a foreign man is trying to escape a woman. That inversion is played with physical comedy.

This song has been covered countless times, but the only versions I could find with the aggressive-woman variation were two sketches starring Miss Piggy.

This cut up uses one line from the film version, plus a few measures of bridge section from that recording.

All of my Christmas songs this year are to fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 2:59 — 3.3MB)